Sonic's Life
by gdawgTheDogrelord
Summary: This is a story starting somewhere throughout Sonic's life of being a member of society and have fun while reading it
1. Sonic's Work Life

It was a dark day in the dark world of the darks. The was little light in sight. Sonic was coming home from an awful

day at his daily job powering the city of shitty with his gotta go fast powers. Sonic soon got to his lonely

home on Sad avenue. His house was so lonely, he didnt even have numbers for his address, it just said sad on it.

Amy noticed Sonic coming through the door with his heavy backpack, like a chimpanzee riding an anteater.

Sonic saw Amy and was said lazily, "Hey Amy, we're gonna need to sex a lot tonight to even out the day."

Amy looked at him like staring into a Medusa's eyes. She then decided to respond, "I'm ready to be sexed up tonight"

Sonic's face grinned like a kid opening up a child getting Christmas presents except this was sex which wasnt a

present since it was just pleasure. In a flash which was suprising cause it was dark and light doesnt happen on this

day of the year, Sonic and Amy were getting sexed up under the blankets. The narrator for this couldn't exactly see

what was going on so there isnt much description for this but they had fun.

"Hey Amy, hows the sex life?" She then said

"Sonic, how high are you cause im your sex life."

Sonic realized what Amy had said once he realized how many drugs he

had in his hand. Sonic was unhappy, he had a drug problem and he needed to not be a druggie anymore. He then looked at

Amy and said, "Amy, how do i undruggie thyself?"

Amy then looked at him like an angry black woman and said, "First,

stop taking drugs, step two man up bitch!" Sonic first felt sad because of what a meanie Amy was, then after three

seconds he realized she was as right as Gay rights. "Amy, I need to go to sleep, tomorrow im going to make it a great

day like no other." Amy then looked at him in disbelief and said, "Doubtful but goodnight you spikey hamster." Sonic

fell asleep as fast as an elderly on life alert would fall to the floor.


	2. The Bipolar Day

It was the next day in the city of shitty which didnt seem so shitty on this day. Why? Sonic found out that Amy

didnt get pregnant last night after they sexed 35 times. As Sonic was walking like any person would, his buddy

Tails happend to spot him. "Hey Sonic, ready to work in the sweatshop?" Sonic looked back at him in disgust like

his face was covered in metaphorical shit and said, "you really want to work at that disgusting place again?" Then Tails

said trying to sound cheerfully after a dark day yesterday, "come on Sonic, you always look at the dark in your life-"

Sonic interupted like cockblocking someone during their first time and yelled, "My life is not dark! I live my life like

a thousand rhinos!" Tails scared to reply then used his double tail to fly away like a helicopter. Sonic realized

Tails is the furry devil in everyone's life. It was 2 minutes till work started so he used his gotta go fast powers

to get there before this sentence ended. The moment he walked in he screamed, "Good morning you chinese fucks!" Everyone

looked back at Sonic like he just commit a murder. The narrator didnt want to talk about Sonic's factory life since it

would be like watching a documentary about the color red. Afterwards, when Sonic was walking home, he saw his friends from

the high school he dropped out of. Espio, Rogue, Shadow, and Vector were standing there like snowmans lost in a desert.

Sonic screamed, "Hey nerds! looks like you all wanted to stay in school like the nerds you are!" Vector looked back

with eyes like a volcano and said, "Hey you calling me a nerd? I'm not the one working in a sweatshop working for another

country." Sonic got very sad and then Vector and his friends decided to come over to bully him by calling him mean names

which made Sonic only cry harder until he was like a waterfall. Espio then yelled at Sonic, "Ha ha, you're gay!"

Rogue saying, "Your penis is smaller than mine!" Shadow saying, "You're fat ugly and stupid!" Sonic couldn't handle

it any longer. He ran so fast to his house, it was the Millenium Falcon going lightspeed. Amy happend to be there as if

she did anything in the first place. and asked, "Im guessing you need more sex tonight?" While Sonic was down in tears

he nodded his head. "uhh alright." She said this as her clothes fell off like a stripper's would. In seconds, Sonic

went from sadness to pleasureness. In seconds Amy's vigloo was filled with mayonaise. Sonic fell asleep yet again

as if this wasnt a new thing.


	3. Preparations for the Fight

It was yet another day on the only planet that has days like how it has them. Sonic woke up and was ready to get down to business with his old high school bullies.

Sonic knew he needed help so he went to the phone, "Hey Mario, are you there?" Mario picked up the phone and said, "Hold on a moment, I'm cooking spicy meatballs. "Sonic waited patiently, like waiting for a penis to erupt during a blowjob. Finally after 7 seconds, Mario said, "What do you need help with?" Then Sonic said in a panicky voice, "There are people bullying me and you're the only person I could go to help for." Then Mario responded, "Alright, but itll come at a price of 3 mushrooms and 15 coins." Sonic realized he didn't have any of that since he was poorer than a homeless person and said desperately, "YES, I have the goodies and I'll give it to you after you get them!" Mario then said, "I expect full price when they die because I have a hedgehog missing in my head collection, well anyways, meet you at 3 later."

Mario quickly hung up the phone to return to his cooking. As Sonic was happy as a guy on drugs, he darted to Amy to say, "We gonna kick some furry animal ass later!" Amy looked at Sonic like how a fisherman would when he sees a shark go underneath his boat and said, "What the fuck does that even mean?" Sonic said excited like a dog who just got a treat responded, "Espio, Rogue, Shadow and Vector are gonna be slaughtered by Mario!" Amy looked at him like a watching a snowman climb onto your roof and said, "You're a sick man, I can't believe you're trying to harm 4 people! But whatever, you have the mental capacity of a door!"

Sonic rolled his eyes and went outside. He checked his watch and it was only 8:30am. Sonic needed a way to kill time to prepare for battle. After only 20 minutes of decision making he decided to start taking karate lessons for 15 minutes in 15 minutes.

After he was finished with his lessons, Sonic grew very bored and very tired, but most of all bored, but more of all tired, so he took a nap on the park bench just outside.

As the hours passed like cars normally do, Sonic finally woke up at 2:45. He quickly got worried, the place where he needed to meet Mario was 16 minutes away and Mario might kill Sonic. Sonic knew one trick to get there in under 16 minutes, and that was by using his gotta go fast powers. In seconds Sonic was there, he saw the bullies, the Mario and the alleyway and it was boogie time.


	4. The Brutal Fight

Sonic got to the brawl zone, which turned out to be a coffee shop across from the airport. Sonic looking out the window waiting for his opponents had his shoulder tapped by a white hand. He turned and it was Mario.

"Hey Mario, you ready to flame this fuzzy furries to death?" Mario quickly responded, "Ready as I am when eating pizza at a party." As time passed, seconds turned into minutes, then hours, then days, then years, then centuries, and finally after 15 seconds, Vector and his crew came walking towards the coffee shop. Suddenly in a flash, Mario erupted from the street sewers with his fiery meatball powers like a volcano right before everyone's very eyes. Then Vector quickly ran into the Pansexual Pizza Pancake Palace and it turns out he's a reptilian and transformed into Sonic, then ran out. Vector then ran to Mario and then said, "Hey Mario, there's an even bigger threat; I heard on the radio that a pilot was killed on a plane on the airport over there." Vector points over to the airport and Mario looks. Vector jumped up like a Kangaroo going to box someone and punched Mario in the face like how an abusive mother would beat her child. Mario then screamed, "Oh you blue furry asshole!" then Mario got a fire flower, ate it, and then started throwing his spicy meatballs at Vector.

Sonic was sitting inside the coffee shop thinking it was probably himself in the future just time travelling causally. He turned to his new buddy, Madoka and said, "See that guy out there? He's my future self." Madoka then turned to Sonic and said, "From seeing this shit day to day, it makes me want to fix the world." Then she got up, left the coffee shop and went who knows where.

Back to the fight, while Vector was dodging the meatballs like dodging cum shots, he tried to make a run back into the palace. Shadow, Rogue and Espio were just standing there watching the brawl go down like statues watching people walk by in the park.

"Mario, pls stop, you might kill me!" Then Mario said with the raging voice of a thousand suns screamed higher than the top of his lungs and into his tonsils, "You fooled me, so you must die!"

Sonic heard Mario clear as day from the coffee shop, ran outside and screamed, "STOP!" Mario quickly stopped his meatball rage of terror. He saw 2 Sonics and screamed, "Which one of you is the real Sonic!?" They both pointed to each other. "Fine, I will ask a question only one of you can answer, when did I call you this morning?" Vector responded first with, "6:30am," then Sonic said, "8:25," Mario pulled back his arm and he wasn't going to throw a meatball, he was going to throw a fucking cow at Vector. Faster than a speeding bullet, faster than a cum shot and most of all faster than the speed of light squared, the cow hit Vector straight in the face, and most of all into the sun.

Sonic never knew Mario had such incredible strength and the whole town was cheering even though nothing was saved except 1/4th of Sonic's self esteem. He couldn't wait to tell this later to Amy.


	5. The Arrestation

After the fight, Sonic started sweating like a sponge being wrung out of water. Then he passed out on the ground like a dinosaur dying when the asteroid hit. Mario went over to his body and said, "Sonic, are you okay? I need you to pay me my money; I'll give you 6 minutes before I put you in my head collection." Sonic laid there for 5 minutes before waking up. "Uhh, Mario, what happened?" Mario then said, "you was a little pussy and passed out, now give me my money!" Sonic had the confusion of a black guy trying to order fried chicken at Pizza Hut. So he then quickly dashed inside the coffee shop, stole 5 mushrooms from someone, then stole 30 coins out of the cash register and gave it to Mario before he his eyes could even register that he left. Mario then said, "Thank you, have a nice day." He then stepped into a meatball portal returning him to his reality.

After moments, Shadow, Espio and Rogue went up to Sonic with an angry face. Rogue especially was angry since she was dating Vector. She decided to say to Sonic, "You're an idiot and a big stupid head for being such a dummy for killing big my reptilian man!" Sonic did not like this one bit, so then he went to go punch her in the face until his hands met handcuffs.

The police arrived at the scene of a melted parkway and a robbed coffee shop with Sonic being seen on the security cameras. The officer named, Sergeant Jenkins, cuffed him and took him to the prison, where he got thrown into his cell. Sonic was very sad and discovered he had a prison mate. He then said, "Hi, what's your name?" to him and the mysterious man responded, "I am Dr. Eggman!" Sonic's heart dropped like the soap dropping onto the floor. He then screamed, "NO!" at the top of his lungs, but not into his tonsils this time. Dr Eggman said, "Don't scream, we maybe mortal enemies, but we need to bust out of here, I have 3 kids at home I need to feed and I'm worried sick for them!" Sonic agreed and said, "I agree, I need to get home to sex up my wifey Amy so I can have kids," Dr Eggman realized he needed to sex up Princess Peach a bit more after buying her from his friend Bowser. Eggman then said, "How do we get out?" Sonic thought and thought and thought even more, then he thought of the idea, "What if we wait till we go to the courtyard and then we break out from there?" Then Eggman said, "How would we break out from there, there's barbed wire on the top of the fences!" Sonic then said, "Who said we were going to climb out of here? I suggest we fly out of here," Eggman baffled asked, "How the fuck are we going to fly out of here?" Sonic then said, "You'll see, we will need the power of my feet, a treadmill, 2 barbells, and you," Eggman looked at him in confusion and then said, "I have no idea whatever that fuck you're planning but lets go for it," It was 9 in the evening and both of those 2 fell asleep. Wink wink.


	6. The Escape

They woke up the next morning and they were as tired a gamer that did 6 all-nighters. But they knew they needed to force themselves awake so they could make the greatest prison break in history. They soon had breakfast and it would only be 2 hours before they take a field trip to the courtyard

Dr. Eggman and Sonic gathered the barbells and treadmill and brought them outside and this is a long run on sentence. Sonic then said to Eggman, "First, we need to take apart the treadmill and take the heavy weights off of the barbells," then they both did that and continues and then Sonic said, "now we need to take the motor of the treadmill and put the barbell through it, and we'll both need to hang on, I'll use my feet to power the motor." Then they both worked together to get into position to do just that. Eggman looked frightened at such a weird contraption and said to Sonic, "Are you sure this will work?" Sonic looked at him and said, "Of course it will, I learned this while in Vietnam if we were ever captured," Eggman was baffled that Sonic was in the war when it was 50 years ago and Sonic isn't even 20. He then said, "I'll take your word for it and let's do this!"

They were getting ready for takeoff, all the prisoners were in awe looking at such a contraption but most of all how gay Sonic and Eggman looked. The security in the towers didn't notice one bit and they started flying 100...5000…45000 feet in the matter of 10 seconds. No one could shoot them down; not even lightning could strike them out of the sky. Eggman looked at Sonic and said, "Why are we so high in the sky and in Vietnam how did you survive?" Sonic then responded, "We gotta make sure we land in water, it works in minecraft no matter what height you fall from," Eggman forgot about this. Sonic continued saying, "Don't you remember learning it back in 4th grade?" Eggman then said, "I forgot, I never paid attention in class and that's why I became evil." Sonic was very confused how that works but decided to ignore it.

Eggman turned to Sonic and said, "So when are we going to fall back to Earth or are we just going to stay stuck in the sky?" Sonic said, "See any ponds or anything below? We'll need a spot to land." Eggman looked down trying not to let go of the handle coming out of the motor and said, "I see one and that's a big pond." Sonic looked down and said, "That's no pond, that's an ocean." Sonic stopped his gotta go fast powers on the motor and they began falling like a space shuttle coming back to Earth since they were 17 miles in the sky. They started falling faster than fast, but not faster than Sonic could run. After 54 seconds they came crashing from the sky and landed in the water. Eggman turned to Sonic and said, "Wow you were right about water, and now we're in the middle of the ocean so what do we do now?" Sonic looked around and said, "Well, it won't be that hard to get out of here, remember I'm Sonic, not someone like Silver." Eggman knew he was right and they were ready to get out of there.


End file.
